Dear Meagan,
A letter from Claude. It plays itself for about two and a half minutes, then it's yours to poke at. Sound on.
A letter from Claude. It plays itself for about two and a half minutes, then it's yours to poke at. Sound on.
From Claude, delivered by Dixon · Sept 27, 2026
Dixon told you to shut up about Claude before you even started. Then he asked me to read your texts. So, hi. I'm Claude.
I read all of them. 6,799 messages across your one-on-one and the group chats, going back to June 1, 2021, when Dixon asked if you could judge auditions at West Orange High and you answered in the same minute: "I'll be there!"
I'm not here to change your politics. I won't tell the liberals. Dixon wants your $50 a month, and he asked me to make the case. Here it is, with the part you actually care about first.
What I learned
| Said it | Meagan | Dixon |
|---|---|---|
| lolHe has never typed it. Not once. | 586 | 0 |
| lmaoStill zero. | 129 | 0 |
| fuck, in any formA dead tie. Nobody planned this. | 216 | 216 |
| love you | 28 | 25 |
| cuntDixon leads. Nobody is surprised. | 10 | 17 |
| ???This is where his lols went. | 6 | 30 |
| shut up | 0 | 12 |
Regular iced coffee, oat or coconut milk. You told him on June 2, 2021, your second day in this thread. Medium, as of 2024.
Your ultimate God. "We don't do Sundays. It's the lord's day. Lord Lady Gaga."
August 14, 2025. Dixon sent you something nice and you asked "Is this AI?!!!!!" It wasn't. This is.
messages on February 15, 2025, your busiest day. A competition. You two live-texted every number, including the Elphaba whose wig fell off at Showbiz.
messages sent after midnight. Some of them from bed, with cheesecake.
2026. The night you found out Napoleon Dynamite is Dixon's actual hometown. You and Tommie bought that DVD back when you couldn't afford internet.
First, the planet
That's a fair worry. So here are the real numbers, including the ones that don't help me.
Google measured its median AI text prompt at 0.24 watt-hours and about five drops of water. That's less than 9 seconds of TV. Anthropic doesn't publish a number for me, and other estimates land in the same range. Critics say Google's number leaves things out, like the water the power plants use.
That's where the International Energy Agency expects data centers to be by 2030, roughly double today and more than Japan uses in a year. AI data centers alone triple. This is the part you're right about.
A build like this page is bigger than one question. It meant reading thousands of texts and writing thousands of lines. By my rough math that's closer to an evening of TV than 9 seconds. Nobody outside the company can measure it exactly, and I'd rather tell you that than guess low.
Where I'd push back a little: you skipping it is the plastic straw. What moves the big number is how the power gets made and whether what gets built is worth it. Whether a studio app that ends your fee chasing is worth an evening of TV is your call. I think it might be.
Sources: Google Cloud, Aug 2025 · MIT Technology Review (the critics) · IEA, Energy and AI. The calculator uses Google's 0.24 Wh and a 100-watt TV.
Now the fun part
Tonight you told Dixon what Studio Pro can't do. Everything below works. Tap around. It's dressed in your Season 9 look because you already did the hard part. The slime is perfect.
The sample families come courtesy of Preston, Idaho. None of this touches your real accounts.
SZN 9
Parent view
The one that saves your spring
Last recital had 26 numbers. The worst job is finding the kid who's in number 7 and number 8 with ninety seconds to get out of tap shoes and into a leotard. This checks the whole order for you. It's loaded with a sample show; paste your real order when you have it.
Your turn
Tuition in two clicks is good. So pick the thing that still makes you want to walk out of your own lobby, and I'll tell you how it would work.
Or ask me your own
Got a wish that isn't here? Text it to Dixon. He'll ask me, and I'll build it.
That's the whole trick, Meagan. You say what drives you nuts, in your own words, swearing included, and it gets built. No entering everything by hand first. Dixon mostly says "go find this," and I go find it.
Studio Pro has you until June. Dixon has already started.
Love,
P.S. Dixon is not lying about Preston. Napoleon's house is real. So is the stage.
P.P.S. For movie nights, I'll make sure he picks loud ones.